A very touching tale indeed. However, instead of asking whether one agrees or disagrees with the chosen course of action, it would be more insightful to enquire how circumstances affect outcomes by influencing the choices individuals make. A father of more familiar disposition would have preached & thrashed Dr. Arun proffering following justifications :
1. For lying : ethical dimension.
2. For watching a John Wayne Film : material dimension.
3. For Delaying the dad : negligence dimension.
4. For Botching up the whole plan : management dimension. (others may enrich this glossary too).
The pain inflicted would have only left an imprint of fear on Dr. Arun with a message that either the technique used needs polishing or better alternatives need to be imagined.
The approach used by his father left an indelible imprint on him that what mattered to his dad was the truth, and the courage required to speak it out, not anything else. What he did to accomplish the task is also a form of violence in which he put his son through a gut wrenching agony for five and half hours while he was supposedly contemplating what went wrong with his son’s upbringing on foot. More importantly it worked on Dr. Arun because I am sure he otherwise didn’t see his father extolling the virtues of beholding the truth while conveniently helping himself to other less reputable options. A path on which I have seen many fathers treading, yours truly included, while preaching better values to children.
Lastly I think the ethical and moral mould of a person is a gift of inborn predilections and influences from the environment. How else can one explain within a single family - even great Mahatma’s not excluded from this conundrum - a heady mix of divergent behaviours even on this uni-dimension of ‘Truth’ without for a moment holding us here to see if we agree on what ‘Truth’ purports.
To round up on a personal note, I never saw my father lie whatever the situation – inconvenient, embarrassing, materially disadvantaging, “white lies”, etc. –; he never preached, but subtly made clear what he desired; and he not even once used physical violence – but my mother amply doled out humongous share of it for reasons my father I suspect totally disapproved. I for one believe that when it comes to adherence to truth I have resorted to not seldom what goes under the euphemism of “white lies” where everyone is free to pick and choose what to gate in or to keep out. Yet I could say confidently that among all those who have known me in whatever capacity none would say that I have harmed (that would include physical, material, psychological, moral,) her or him in any way; at least deliberately or advertently. Even a person who held such elastic standards stares today in uncomprehending disbelieve at the prevalent zeitgeist that encourages pursuit of pecuniary “happiness” in complete disregard of everything else proved still fortunate to count close individuals, like dear friend Arun Jain, my wife - Mangala and my son - Angad, who come closest to the ideal of ‘truth speakers’ – by that I mean people who have inelastic measuring standard by which they stand.
I trust other friends including more enlightened ones come forward to share their world views.
Cheers and all that,
